By Mark Symmonds

Founding Head of Pre-Prep | Rugby School Hanoi

📍 Hanoi, Vietnam

📅 Published: July 2026

⏱  8 minutes read

Before We Begin

One of the questions I am asked most often by prospective parents is:

"Is my child ready for school?"

It is an important question, but not one with a simple checklist or a single answer.

This article combines current research with more than twenty years of experience working alongside young children and families in international schools. I hope it offers both practical guidance and reassurance as you prepare your child for one of life's biggest milestones.

Every parent reaches a moment when they begin to wonder whether their child is truly ready to start school.

It is one of the most important questions a family can ask and, understandably, one of the hardest to answer.

Many parents naturally focus on academic skills. Can my child recognise letters? Can they count to ten? Can they write their name? While these skills can certainly help, they are not the strongest indicators of whether a child is genuinely ready to thrive at school.

The good news is that school readiness is about much more than academics. It is built on a set of foundations that support children to learn, build relationships and embrace new experiences with confidence.

School readiness is about much more than reading and writing.

It is about preparing children to thrive, not simply preparing them to perform. In reality, school readiness is about much more than early literacy or mathematics. It is about whether children have developed the confidence, curiosity, communication skills and emotional security that allow them to engage with learning, build relationships and thrive in a new environment.

Over the past two decades, I have worked with hundreds of children starting school in international settings across several countries. One lesson has remained remarkably consistent: children who arrive with strong social, emotional and communication foundations often settle more successfully and make excellent progress, regardless of whether they could already read or write before their first day.

In this article, we'll explore what school readiness really means, why it matters, and how parents can help their children develop the foundations that support a happy and successful start to school.

The Biggest Myth About School Readiness

When parents ask me whether their child is ready for school, the conversation almost always begins with academic skills.

Questions such as:

• Can they recognise letters?

• Can they count?

• Can they write their name?

• Should they already be reading?

These are understandable questions because they are easy to observe and measure. However, they only tell part of the story.

Schools exist to teach children how to read, write and develop mathematical understanding. These are fundamental parts of education, and skilled teachers introduce them in a structured, age-appropriate way.

What schools cannot teach overnight is confidence, resilience, curiosity or a child's ability to build positive relationships. Those qualities develop gradually through everyday experiences with caring adults, opportunities to play, meaningful conversations and secure relationships.

This is why I believe the question parents should ask is not:

"Can my child already read?"

Instead, it should be:

"Does my child have the foundations that will help them become a successful learner?"

Those foundations are what educators often describe as school readiness.

School readiness isn't about getting children ready for school.

It's about giving children the confidence, curiosity and resilience to become lifelong learners.

The Five Foundations of School Readiness

If school readiness is about more than academic skills, what should parents be looking for?

While every child develops differently, research and experience consistently point to five key foundations that help children settle confidently into school and thrive as learners.

These foundations develop long before a child learns to read or write. They are built through play, relationships, everyday conversations and opportunities to become increasingly independent.

Children don't need to be perfect before they start school.

They need strong foundations that allow them to keep learning.

Let's explore each of these five foundations and consider how parents can nurture them at home.

Communication

Meaningful conversations build the foundations for learning.

Communication is far more than speaking clearly. It is a child's ability to express their thoughts, listen to others, ask questions and understand simple instructions.

Research consistently suggests that the quantity and quality of everyday conversations between children and caring adults play a significant role in language development, thinking skills and later academic success.

Children who communicate confidently often settle into school more easily because they can explain how they are feeling, seek help when they need it and begin building friendships from the very first day.

Importantly, communication develops through conversation rather than correction. The richest language experiences happen during everyday moments: talking at dinner, reading stories together, walking to the park or discussing something interesting your child has noticed.

Children become confident communicators by being spoken with, not spoken to.

What this means for parents:

• Talk with your child throughout the day.

• Read together every day, even for ten minutes.

• Encourage your child to ask questions.

• Listen carefully without rushing to provide the answer.

• Introduce new vocabulary naturally during everyday experiences.

Confidence

Confidence grows through experience, not praise alone.

Confidence is not about children believing they can do everything. It is about believing they can have a go, make mistakes and keep trying.

Children who begin school with healthy confidence are more willing to join new activities, ask for help, make friends and persevere when learning becomes challenging. They understand that mistakes are a normal part of learning rather than something to fear.

Research consistently suggests that children with strong self-confidence and emotional resilience are more likely to engage in learning, build friendships and persevere when faced with challenges.

Confidence develops when children are trusted to try things for themselves. Every time a child pours their own drink, chooses their own clothes, helps prepare a meal or solves a small problem independently, they build confidence in their own abilities.

Children don't become confident before they try.

They become confident because they try.

What this means for parents:

• Encourage your child to try before stepping in to help.

• Celebrate effort rather than praising only success.

• Allow your child to make age-appropriate choices each day.

• Let your child solve simple problems independently whenever it is safe to do so.

• Remind your child that mistakes are an important part of learning.

Curiosity

Curiosity turns questions into learning

Curiosity is one of the greatest strengths a child can bring to school. Curious children are eager to explore, ask questions and discover how the world works. They don't simply wait to be taught—they actively seek opportunities to learn.

Children who begin school with a sense of curiosity are more likely to engage in new experiences, investigate ideas and persevere when they encounter something they don't yet understand. They see learning as an exciting adventure rather than something to fear.

Research consistently suggests that children who are encouraged to explore, question and investigate develop stronger problem-solving skills, creativity and intrinsic motivation to learn throughout their education.

Curiosity grows when adults value questions as much as answers. Whether children are investigating a snail in the garden, asking why the moon changes shape or wondering how a bridge stays standing, these moments develop critical thinking and a lifelong love of learning.

Children don't stop learning because they don't know the answer.

They learn because they want to discover it.

What this means for parents:

• Encourage questions, even when you don't know the answer.

• Wonder aloud and investigate together.

• Visit parks, museums and libraries to spark new interests.

• Allow time for unstructured play and exploration.

• Celebrate curiosity rather than simply praising correct answers.

Emotional Security

Children learn best when they feel safe, secure and valued.

Feeling emotionally secure is one of the strongest foundations for successful learning. Before children can concentrate, solve problems or build friendships, they need to know they are safe, supported and accepted.

Starting school brings many new experiences. New adults, new routines, unfamiliar environments and different expectations can feel overwhelming. Children who feel emotionally secure are more able to manage these changes because they trust that caring adults will support them when they need help.

Research consistently suggests that secure relationships with caring adults promote emotional regulation, resilience and stronger engagement in learning. Children who feel safe are better able to concentrate, explore and build positive relationships.

Emotional security grows through predictable routines, warm relationships and consistent responses from the adults around a child. Small moments—being greeted warmly each morning, knowing someone will listen, or feeling comforted after a difficult moment—build the confidence children need to embrace new experiences.

Children don't learn because they never feel worried.

They learn because they know someone will help them through it.

What this means for parents:

• Establish predictable daily routines at home.

• Allow extra time during transitions rather than rushing.

• Acknowledge your child's feelings without immediately trying to fix them.

• Speak positively about starting school and new experiences.

• Help your child identify trusted adults they can turn to when they need support.

Independence

Independent children aren't those who can do everything alone. They are children who believe they can have a go.

Independence is one of the greatest gifts we can give young children. It is not about expecting children to manage everything by themselves. Rather, it is about giving them the confidence, skills and opportunities to become increasingly capable in everyday life.

When children begin school, they encounter many situations where they are expected to make small decisions, solve simple problems and manage everyday routines. Children who have practised these skills at home often settle more quickly because they trust themselves to cope with new challenges.

Research consistently suggests that opportunities for age-appropriate independence help children develop executive functioning, self-regulation and resilience. These skills support both academic achievement and positive wellbeing throughout school.

Independence develops gradually through everyday experiences. Allowing children to pour their own drink, pack their school bag, choose their clothes or tidy away their toys teaches far more than practical skills. It develops responsibility, perseverance and the confidence to tackle new situations.

Children don't become independent because adults do less.

They become independent because adults know when to step back.

What this means for parents:

• Allow your child to complete simple tasks independently, even if it takes longer.

• Encourage problem-solving before offering help.

• Give choices that are appropriate for your child's age.

• Create routines that allow your child to take responsibility for everyday tasks.

• Celebrate effort, persistence and responsibility rather than perfection.

Final Thoughts

School readiness is not a checklist. It is a journey.

Every child develops at their own pace, and no child begins school having mastered every skill. What matters most is that children arrive feeling curious, confident, emotionally secure, willing to communicate and ready to have a go.

Parents play the most important role in building these foundations. The everyday moments—talking together at dinner, reading a bedtime story, encouraging independence, exploring nature or comforting a child after a difficult day—have a lasting impact on a child's readiness to learn.

Schools then build on these foundations by providing nurturing relationships, inspiring learning experiences and opportunities for children to grow in confidence every day.

The best question isn't:

"Is my child ready for school?"

It's:

"Am I helping my child become ready to learn?"

Thank you for reading.

I hope these five foundations provide practical ideas and reassurance as your child prepares for one of life's most exciting milestones.

Enjoyed this article?

Continue exploring practical advice for parents and educators:

➡ External Articles written by Mark

➡ How Young Children Really Learn

➡ What is the EYFS?  - Why the British approach to Early Years education gives children one of the strongest starts in life.